Garden gnomes banned from church cemeteries because they are "unnatural creatures”

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Churches showing insensitivity towards those whose loved ones are buried on their plots of tax-free land seems to be constantly in the local news here in the UK. But the comments made by the Diocese of Bath and Wells made me almost spit my coffee all over my keyboard.

Let’s think about the issue at the heart of the matter first. The problem for grieving people is according to the “rules”, they are unable to leave anything other than fresh flowers on a grave. Fresh flowers decay and blow away and the upkeep for fresh flowers is very expensive. The objectionable alternative, plastic flowers, gnomes and teddy bears which may be incredibly personal unfortunately for the church cannot be as easily mowed over. Imagine plucking a deceased child’s favourite toy, now desiccated, out of the churchyard’s petrol mower. It’s not simply a case of churches trying to avoid over the top decorations for they could issue an acceptable use policy for this. Instead churches wish to control (under the faux banner of health and safety) the final resting places of loved ones. Oh, and I forgot to mention it’s easier to lawn mower over the graves en-masse when there’s no tributes sat there to clog up the cutting blades.

The mix and variety of personal items surely brings comfort to those who visit. I wonder what Jesus would have to say to them.

Anyway, here’s a real kicker of hypocrisy:

A spokesman for the Diocese of Bath and Wells said: “There is no such thing as a real gnome so why should we have such unnatural creatures in churchyards?”

Yes. He really did say, “There is no such thing as a real gnome”.

Of course I agree that there is no evidence for the existence of gnomes. However I would like to remind the Diocese of Bath and Wells that there are other imaginary unnatural creatures for which there is absolutely no evidence. As a matter of fact, the following are also imaginary and unnatural:

• Angels
• Demons
• Holy Ghost
• Satan
• God
• Jesus

My point for the day:

Why is it that churches have the monopoly on ceremonial burial in the UK? It doesn’t leave you with many options if you’re not religious, does it? What are churches doing making a profit on land that they treat as their personal property without paying any taxes?

Read more: Telegraph Online